


sandcastles

by ergotautology



Category: Prospect (2018)
Genre: Angst and Feels, Father-Daughter Relationship, Gen, Mentions of Death
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-01
Updated: 2021-02-01
Packaged: 2021-03-18 19:34:30
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,381
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29123505
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ergotautology/pseuds/ergotautology
Summary: Cee realizes she still hasn’t considered what her next move is. Didn’t want to consider her next move when relishing in the stagnancy residing within the four walls of Ezra’s hospital room, but it hits her that she may have to grapple with the loneliness again.[a drabble set after the events of prospect from cee’s pov]
Relationships: Cee & Ezra (Prospect 2018)
Comments: 1
Kudos: 25





	sandcastles

Sleep comes easy the first few cycles. 

It’s easy to ignore the harsh sanitized smell of the hospital and the scratchy cushions of the chair she calls a bed when the adrenaline chips away to exhaustion. She finds solace in the steady beeps of Ezra’s medical monitor. Stable and constant, the residual anxiety fades with each tick. Cee finds herself relearning the familiar comfort of a warm shower, clean clothes and a full meal with each passing cycle.

The moment she pulls the sheets over her and her head hits the pillow, sleep takes her into its arms without hesitation. Into a quiet darkness that’s ceaseless and calm, the beeps and the sound of the hospital staff walking down the hallway outside of Ezra’s room fade into the building generator’s thrum. Sometimes in that darkness, she’ll find herself in a dream. Varying moments. Once with her mother on a beach, they make sandcastles and she watches the tides smooth it over with each wave until there is nothing left. She tries to hold onto the sound of mother’s laugh when she leaves sleep’s grasp; woken by the sound of a nurse ripping open a new package of gauze and bandages for Ezra’s stump.

Ezra immediately notices when she stirs awake, shushing the nurse and gently coaxing her to sleep a little longer. Hears him whisper to the nurse that _‘she needs the rest’_ , before falling back asleep.

But one night, sleep doesn’t come.

It floats by her, doesn’t take her like it had before. Cee flips around in her chair, adjusting the pillows trying to find some semblance of comfort. This night, she doesn’t have the beeps of Ezra’s monitor to count; the medical staff had taken the machine away after the doctor told them that Ezra only needed to stay for two more cycles under their observation before leaving.

Two more cycles.

Cee was relieved when she first heard it. Ezra’s face broke out into a grin as he thanked the doctor for their care and for pulling him from Death’s decrepit door. Then he turned to her and thanked her _‘for performing the most vital task at unarguably the most critical time’_. She’d brushed it off with a simple welcome before letting the doctor finish. They’d spent the rest of their day as they had done the cycles before, scattered conversations about past adventures and _The Streamer Girl_ between meals and naps.

Except now, two cycles _scares_ her.

She’d never once discussed with Ezra what they would do after he was discharged.

Suddenly, she feels foolish for having not done so.

Her father had raised her to consider the logistics of any endeavor; a crucial part of survival in ‘her’ field. Even Ezra had told her to think about her plan once they made it on a freighter. But fate had tangled their threads even further when Ezra had passed out from his injuries, and when asked by the medics pulling him into the medical pod if was she was coming, she merely nodded a _yes._

Cee realizes she still hasn’t considered what her next move is. Didn’t want to consider her next move when relishing in the stagnancy residing within the four walls of Ezra’s hospital room.

She realizes that he could very well leave her with a simple goodbye. Or leave when she’s in the hospital’s canteen _without_ a goodbye. A pit in her stomach begins to grow at the thought.

Tearing her gaze from the ceiling, Cee turns her head to look at Ezra, still asleep. He’d nearly left her not too many cycles ago. Left her alone in a different scratchy hospital chair outside of the emergency room without a goodbye.

Her throat tightens as a wave of unsettling possibility washes over her.

Stranded on a different planet, without a plan or a way off. Trapped between orbits without guidance or a guardian. Being left alone again, nothing to hold onto but a book, a picture, and memories of sandcastles and a man with a blonde streak and a drawl.

There were moments where she didn’t mind the loneliness creeping into the very crevices of her being, she’d prefer the distance it put between her and her dad in the small pod. But now the loneliness frightens her as it inches its way between her and Ezra. She’s scared of the quiet, the bleached out white lights, the cold seeping into her suit, being abandoned _again._

One tear spills over.

Then another.

And with considering each _what if,_ each chance Ezra didn’t make it and left her alone in a hospital on Puggart Bench, her quiet tears break into a sob. It’s loud enough to cause Ezra to stir, but he settles back down as Cee clamps a hand over her mouth. To avoid waking him up entirely, she gets up from her chair, yanking the blanket away when it tangles up between her feet. Hot tears threaten to spill over again as she leaves the small hospital room, closing the door gently behind her.

When she hears the faint click of the lock, the burning tears escape her entirely. Sliding down against the door, she cries. Cries for possibly the first time since she’d boarded the damned pod with her dad. Sobs out the grief and frustration and anger with each shallow breath. Lets the resentment and at herself for being alone again grow acrid as she tucks her legs against her chest. 

She cries harder when the heaving hurts, only stopping when her lungs burn and her throat constricts too much. Her body forcing her to stop with a deep breath in then out.

A deep breath in, then out. 

She tries to slide back up between breaths, but dizziness forces her to crumple back down to the floor. Sitting in the empty hallway, she tries to come up with a contingency. Wonders if Ezra would let her stay with him, a place where she can board, a place where she can be safe alone.

But each of these questions are nothing but that. _Questions_. Dunked in the anxiety that simmers in her head and left without clear answers.

She wipes away the undried tears and her nose with the sleeve of her sweater before getting up again. The metal handle of the door feels cold against her hand, and as she pushes it open, it feels heavier. Closing the door behind her, she looks up to see Ezra out of bed, looking at her with concern laced into his patient gaze as he takes a note of her puffy bloodshot eyes.

Cee takes a shaky breath while nodding a wordless, _I’m okay_. Something to dampen his concern enough to ignore her, because she would eventually be okay, but she can’t bring herself to walk back to that uncomfortable chair right then. So she just stands in her place, staring at the two pillows and the blankets piled up on it. 

Ezra catches her line of sight, “If the current bedding is assisting sleep in its efforts to evade you, we can ask-”

Cee cuts him off, “It’s fine.”

She doesn’t know where the harshness in her tone stems from.

“Two more days birdie,” he tells her gently, “then we’ll find a better place.”

Cee turns to look at him, confusion evident in her expression as she asks, “We?”

Ezra pauses briefly, “Of course.”

Cee looks at him as she registers the finality in his voice. The safe tether in the sureness of his answer. Her chin quivers as her emotions mount once again, her temples throb as she tries to hold the tears that blur her gaze away.

Ezra tilts his head, and beckons Cee towards him. A silent, _I’m here if you need me._

And she crosses that space between them without hesitation, wrapping her arms around him and lets go of all of those tears. The entire muddle of emotions: the residual pain, anxiety and relief she’d numbed away for cycles. Ezra quietly reassures her as the sobs break into little gasps and eventually into steady breaths; lets her hold on as long as she needs to. Holding onto the fabric of his shirt as tightly as she can, Cee finds a newfound security in the form of a stranger.

**Author's Note:**

> thanks for reading!! 
> 
> catch me on tumblr @taliaprince <3


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